'All Over Again'

" You dont have to die all over again, to break this power of my sin,
everythings already been said and done,
I'm so senseless, so helpless.
I cant erase what I have already done,
but please just come and make me all over again."

This is a song by Nicole Serrano ( you can listen to it here: http://www.myspace.com/nserranomusic) It is called 'All Over Again" it has become my song of the week. Have you ever felt like you are just tarnished? Unintentionally, you become stale and just filled with everything but what you want and need? " Direction, not intention determines where you'll end up." That quote is from our young couples pastor at the church we are going to (www.westmorecog.org) This week I have realized that it really doesn't matter what my intentions were or are; the only thing that matters is where you are today. Christian life is truly about positioning yourself to where God can effectively use you; no matter what, that is the core of decision making in our lives. It has taken me about two months now to realize this. I have been so caught up in my own thoughts and opinions and ideas about why I am in Cleveland Tennessee. Jeremiah came to me today and asked me to read a couple pages in one of his books he has for one of his classes, I cant even tell you the name. The basis of what he had me read was about the Israelites, and how go had allowed tier lands to be taken, and they prayed to God asking why, and for help to get their lands and homes back, but the book went on to explain that they were missing it. God didn't just 'allow' for them to be driven out, he had specifically placed/positioned then out of that land for a purpose and to prepare them for eventually getting their lands back.

I guess I am finally starting to accept/understand why I am here in Cleveland. And beginning to realize that Gods will is bigger than my own, and my wants are just that, wants. And my needs, they are being me, but I can be so selfish and just see it as, "yeah, you met my need BUT......". I guess this is just my heart tonight.......